Saturday, March 21, 2009

My Week from Dante's Inferno

While I was changing Cora, Keenan decided to paint himself, the wall, the table, and the carpet with his oatmeal. How do you get oatmeal out of carpet?!?!?!
I dropped the jelly jar at lunch... shattered everywhere in tiny bits of glass and jelly.
Lyla had a bedtime accident.
Keenan didn't nap. Keenan has rotavirus (for those of you who don't have kids this is the most putrid, stinky intestinal virus ever imaginable)
Get a little too experimental with dinner and end up with some weird wild rice and beat casserole. Not so good.
Twist my back wrong. Pain.
Doing Laundry, doing laundry, doing laundry.
The house stays a mess... I stay in my pajamas.

While changing Keenan he pees all over me. I won't tell you exactly where - because it is way to disturbing  - but it is somewhere between the region of my new haircut and my neck.
Keenan doesn't nap. Keenan and rotavirus.
So preoccupied with conundrums of the day I forget it is St. Patty's Day (my favorite holiday... isn't it supposed to be lucky?) and forget to cook corned beef and cabbage.
Back still hurts.
Doing Laundry, doing laundry, doing laundry.
The house stays a mess... I stay in my pajamas.

While making pasta salad I get called away to a waking baby Cora, when I return "I didn't do it" poured a box of Cheerios into the bowl of pasta salad.
Keenan didn't nap. Tears apart his room into little itty bitty pieces all over the floor.
Lyla had a bedtime accident.
Doing Laundry, doing laundry, doing laundry.
The house stays a mess... I stay in my pajamas... squeeze in a shower... put the same pajamas back on.

While balancing a plate of quiche (slathered in Tobasco sauce), a big glass of water, and talking on the phone to Brook I fall down the stairs. I was trying to be a dutiful wife and bring my husband a snack after work -  instead I went from the top step to the bottom step at the speed of light... quiche, water, phone, and Teresa in jumbled mess at the bottom of the stairs. Tobasco on my face, water in my ear, quiche smooshed in the carpet, and me yelling to the phone on the floor... "Um Brook I'm gonna have to call you back." I now have an ugly, large bruise on my bum.
Keenan didn't nap.
Doing Laundry, doing laundry, doing laundry.
The house stays a mess and at this point is beyond any help I can give it. We might need to rent a forklift.
And yes I am still in my pajamas.

Load up and haul all the kids to the Dr.'s office. Check on Lyla for possible UTI for all the accidents she had. Check on Cora for a stuffy nose she has had for three weeks. (Good news - everyone is fine:)
March Radness - By Friday night I am #24 in the boards. Ummm... #24 out of 26 people. FSU loses.

The good news is that the week is over and we all survived. The kids survived, I survived, and Mike survived through me complaining about my WORST WEEK EVER! Where was my Virgil?

Lessons learned: Don't balance too many things while walking down our scary stairs, GET OUT OF MY PAJAMAS, and through all the poop, pee, and snot our kids are still pretty cute.


  1. Jenny DoddMarch 22, 2009

    Oh Teresa! I'm sorry, but I'm am laughing to tears reading this.... that's a beyond crazy week you've had. I hope things turn around soon for all 5 of you... :-) Lots of love your way! --Jenny

  2. I am glad you survived your week and were able to make it to Tyler's birthday party in one piece!

    I am glad all the kids survived Tyler's birthday party and made it out of our house in one piece!

    It was great to see you and the family! I am looking forward to "craft night" soon!

  3. Oh God! Reading about your week just made my ovaries clench up. I threatened them and told them to keep that sperm away from our eggs. I am clearly not ready for Motherhood.