When I have changed too many diapers to count, stared at the endless stack of dishes, and folded one too many onsies I sometimes think back to those days when I felt a bit more free. I am so thankful for each and every one of my experiences in this life.
When I find myself in the routine of family and children and fear creeping slowly in... afraid to watch the news because every story whittles away at the small piece of hope left in your heart, afraid to drive on ice, afraid to try something new... I like to think back to my time of crazy, unedited living and traveling.
These memories become gentle nudges and whispers in my ear to let go of fear, to find spontaneity in this current life, and to model and encourage a path of unfiltered emotions and passions to our children.
There are small blips on the parenthood radar of once again feeling lofty and liberated. When I am going to crumble or explode (or both) from the trials of motherhood and wifehood… I crank up the stereo to my favorite 80's CD (the kids always look at me like I have lost my marbles) and we just dance. The best thing about kids is they don't judge… they just look up at you in pure adoration and think you do the best sprinkler and kid'n'play they have ever seen. Watching your 4-year old daughter do the robot probably ranks right up there with the high of jumping out of an airplane.
It is a constant job to fight against the beast of monotony and limit those things that hinder vivid experiences - TV, perfectionism, computers, consumerism… they are different for everyone.
Let life in.
It helps me to remember that once upon a time I had the strength and bravery to solo backpack through Europe, create art with little fear of judgment, and skydive with a crazy little barefoot man strapped to my back. Those experiences and memories help me get through my days of wiping hinies, making mac and cheese, and doing dishes …those days when its hard to recognize this slight version of yourself.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt
What have you done today to break out of your rut?
What have you done today that scares you?
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Wait till you've got teenagers, you'll long for these days then!
Vicky
I have to say I think everyone goes through those days and wonders 'why haven't I done anything adventurous lately when I used to do it all the time w/out a second thought'. We just need to remember!! Thanks for all of your notes! It's great to catch up w/ you guys this way!! Enjoy Spring!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!!
Jaime